I get it, I know it’s uncomfortable to talk about babies dying. The truth is, it happens. And I want to keep talking about it. And here’s why --- what if? What if making it more commonplace to talk about stillbirth, infant loss and grief could save your baby’s life? Or, another baby’s life?
WHAT IF stillbirth was discussed openly in our culture and within the medical community? During my three pregnancies I learned the statistics of my baby having SIDS (1 in 2000 babies), down syndrome (1 in 1,200 @ age 25) spina bifida, cystic fibrosis (if both parents are carriers 1 in 4), sickle cell disease and a horde of other diseases. But I hadn’t heard about the statistics on stillbirth. I had no idea the chance of stillbirth was 1 in 160.
WHAT IF it was common knowledge that stillbirth is TEN TIMES more common than SIDS? Ten times! Most likely you’ve heard about ways to prevent SIDS. In my opinion, we hear ten times more often about SIDS. Why is that? Is it because the baby has taken her first breath?
WHAT IF the United States had a national system to report and evaluate stillbirths? We have none. The CDC says this is a crucial step in reducing them. About half of stillbirths are unexplained. Stillbirth experts say that the government’s failure to fund data collection and stillbirth evaluation is preventing progress. So too is the lack of insurance coverage for autopsies and genetic tests after a stillbirth. If we don’t know more about why they happen, we won’t be able to prevent them.
WHAT IF it mattered that the World Health Organization ranks the U.S. stillbirth rate 25th in the world, top-ranked Iceland’s rate is less than half of the US? And the United States has made some of the slowest progress of any country in reducing stillbirths. Between 2000 and 2015, the U.S. rate declined by 0.4 percent per year, putting us at 155th out of 159 in the world. We were joined at the bottom by Chad and Niger. The Netherlands cut its rate of stillbirth by an average of 6.8 percent per year between 2000 and 2015, partly thanks to a national program to evaluate stillbirths that was implemented in 2010.
WHAT IF all pregnant moms were told that increased fetal movement can be a sign of fetal distress? What if we didn’t buy into the post-12-week-scott-free mentality? What if we treated every loss like it was a life lost, not just a baby, but a first grader, a soccer star, a bride, a travel partner and our caretaker as we oneday leave this earth for another home?
WHAT IF we had systems in place to truly care for stillbirth moms who are four times more likely to be depressed and seven times more likely to experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress than mothers with live babies? High levels of psychological distress persisted for at least nine months among the women whose babies had died. What if our culture recognized that “a stillbirth costs 10-70% more than a live birth with funeral costs generally being passed on to parents and lost income from time taken off work… due to greatly reduced work productivity”? (WHO 2016)
Here’s the hardest part --- I’m not sure I would have choose to know if I could go back. I’d probably pick an ignorance is bliss pregnancy. But, what if? What if this could save a baby’s (your baby’s) life? As a culture, we’ve chosen to let a FEW families live with the unspeakable pain of infant loss rather than put our best foot forward by facing the very scary reality of stillbirth and invest in research, prevention and education.
But what if...
